What do you do when you feel triggered?
How easy is it for you to blame another person?
Do you ever see being triggered as an opportunity?
I recently had an experience of feeling let down and taken for granted by a friend.
This became a very rewarding opportunity for me to do my own self enquiry and Shadow Work, that led to deep healing and integration.
I had been hosting a friend at my house for about five weeks. She was planning to stay for another three weeks before travelling to Mexico. In my house, my friend had two rooms to use and her own bathroom, and still she felt she needed to spread out her things all over the communal lounge and dining areas, and in the kitchen.
I was in the process of looking for a new person to share the house with me longer term, so I organised a house viewing for a potential new housemate.
I told my friend and she agreed to gather her things and prepare the rooms she was using for the house viewing that was taking place the next day.
The next day when I returned home from work, about fifteen minutes before the potential new housemate was arriving, my friend had not finished gathering her things and preparing the rooms she had been using. I had to step in and help clean up after my house guest.
I was triggered. I felt disappointment, anger and frustration, like I was being taken for granted, not respected, appreciated or valued.
At a time I felt I needed it, I did not receive from the feminine what I felt I needed from her.
I became more aware of this later, earlier that day my friend’s period had started. Her periods involve painful cramps, vomiting and diarrhoea. For her the packing away of her things and the cleaning required a lot of effort, and caused her stress and discomfort.
After the house viewing had finished I asked my house guest to talk over what had happened. She said no. She said she could not talk to me as her period had started, and it was too painful to talk.
In that moment, this was another experience for me of when I ask the feminine for something I needed, I felt let down.
The next day after I returned home from work, I went to my room to reflect on what had happened and to meditate.
The woman who visited to meet me and view the house is a Midwife. In the brief time I spent with this woman, I felt something of her work, of how she supports women to give birth safely, in a way in which they feel in control, and in a way that helps them welcome and receive their new born baby with love.
What was brought to my awareness was my own experiences at the time of my birth. I was overdue. After my birth I was taken away and put in a humidicrib for observation.
Just after my birth I was isolated and left alone. My yearning for connection, and my primal survival needs felt like they were not being met. As a new born baby, my ‘asking’ for what I needed was not being heard or met. I had to ‘look after’ myself. All I could do was rely on myself.
I also felt that my house guest may have been feeling not considered, not fully welcomed and without any control of her living environment, especially at a very difficult time for her, and I felt the mirror of these feelings in me.
I was also aware of how she told me of the pain she was experiencing from her period. I then thought of the pain my own mother must have felt at my birth.
I felt compassion for my house guest, for myself and the situation.
I started meditating. I cleansed and cleared my energy, my room and the house, and I put protection in place. This helped me to be more clearly with my own energies and my own emotions.
I connected to a member of my Spirit Team that is a Master of compassion. At first I felt his soothing, supportive, compassionate energy. I asked, “What is for my highest good to do?”. In my heart centre I felt the answer, “I deserve to be here”.
In that moment several aspects of my awareness illuminated, aligned and fell into place.
When I was born part of me did not feel like I deserved to be here. And I had been carrying that belief ever since. I also saw different ways this belief was continuing to affect aspects of my life.
I then felt the raw emotion of this wound, of feeling like I do not deserve to be here. My body shook, and I wept.
I was then guided to say, and feel the energy in my heart centre of, “I deserve to be here”.
As I claimed this, I felt the resonance of this energy and more of my essence landing in my heart centre.
I then breathed into my solar plexus and stated, “I deserve to be here”.
As I claimed this, I felt the resonance of this energy and more of my essence landing in my solar plexus.
As I did this I also felt, “My personal power, what I feel, and all of my emotions, deserve to be here”.
I then breathed into my sacral chakra and stated, “I deserve to be here”.
As I claimed this, I felt the resonance of this energy and more of my essence landing in my sacral chakra.
As I did this I also felt, “My sexuality, and what I create deserves to be here”.
I then breathed into my base chakra and stated, “I deserve to be here”.
As I claimed this, I felt the resonance of this energy and more of my essence landing in my base chakra.
As I did this I also felt, “My survival needs, and what I need to feel safe and secure deserves to be here”.
I was then guided to repeat this process with the following statements,
- “I am safe here”.
- “I belong here”.
- “I am welcome here”.
- “I am grounded here”.
- “I thrive here”.
During this meditation, I felt like my Spirit Team were acting as Midwives for my Soul and me. I was guided through a process of Soul Remembering, Retrieval and Reintegration. More than ever, I felt and experienced my Soul being Birthed, welcomed and grounded through me.
After this experience, I know this is a practice I can return to and explore more.
I felt deep gratitude for my friend and everything that had taken place. What needed to happen happened, in the ways it needed to.
Being triggered is an opportunity to know yourself better.
As difficult, inconvenient and painful being triggered can be, what you are feeling is really pointing the way to the parts of yourself that are ready to be seen, felt, heard, integrated and healed.
Try to see being triggered as an opportunity. If you are genuinely willing to know yourself, there are techniques you can use to help you with your self enquiry and Shadow Work.
The key to doing Shadow Work is your openness to meet, feel, listen to, heal and integrate whatever there is within you, and to do this with an open heart, without judgement, and with unconditional love.
This brings more freedom, empowerment and genuine transformation. This makes it easier for you to feel and experience your Soul, and to access higher guidance. So you can evolve your life and thrive, in alignment with your true purpose.
Ready to embark on your own journey of Shadow Work?
When doing Shadow Work it is very beneficial to have a person experienced in facilitating and holding space to guide you through this transformative process, helping you unveil your hidden power and embrace your true self.
To get the best support with your Shadow Work, I offer one-on-one AWAKENING Spiritual Coaching sessions.
Also available, Psychic Readings, Energy Healings and Past Life Regressions.
